New Goals

Well, I almost did it.  I set 9 goals for October and completed all but one.  I failed to create at least 15 pieces to sell.  It might have happened but I ran out of materials.  On Tuesday I expect a new delivery of supplies and then I’m off and running again.  I can’t wait!  Today I wrote out goals for November.  I’m looking forward to this month’s work because it is almost all “hands-on”.  In addition to making the pieces I planned for last month, I’ll sketch them too.  I think the sketches will look good in my Etsy store combined with the photos.  Then I get to do the photography and write descriptions of everything.  I have the week of Thanksgiving off and expect that this will be a very productive time for me.  I’m getting there, baby step by baby step. 

How Do You Chill?

When I need to take it easy...

 

I have a pretty hectic schedule.  I teach most of the day during the week and use my evenings and weekends for painting, jewelry making, cooking, exercise, blogging, chores, and time with family and friends.  I try to do it all, but who can do that? 

After a hectic day today, I started thinking about healthy ways to relax.  Like many, I tend to gravitate to things like chocolate, TV and/or a glass of wine.  I won’t get into why these are poor choices but I’m sure you can guess. 

Lately I find that lying down for 20 minutes (I use a timer) boosts my energy like nothing else.  I usually don’t sleep, but rest my body and mind.  Meditation is good too (when I have the energy to sit up).  Burning a stick of Nag Champa incense settles me down.  The smell reminds me of meditation and spiritual bookstores.  Speaking of bookstores, wandering through the aisles of an independent bookstore or library is sometimes the only thing that will do.  There is something about the smell of books and the atmosphere of sitting quietly and reading that takes the stress away.  Reading is great too, as long as the book isn’t too exciting.  I’m pushing the excitement envelope here by reading “Dune”, but I can’t help myself, it’s awesome. 

A friend recently turned me on to “Peter Gillham’s Natural Calm”.  Basically it is magnesium.  I’m probably deficient in the mineral, like most of the population, so I have no problem with taking it.  Before bed I take about 1/4^th of the recommended 2 teaspoons.  It helps to relax my muscles and get me to sleep. 

When the weather isn’t too rough, a 30-minute walk on the beach can be like a month’s worth of therapy sessions.  Funny, even though it is only a 15-minute drive from my home, I seldom go.  Today in the staff room a teacher told me that exercise gives her more energy, even if she was tired before exercising.  I wonder if this would be true for me? 

  

One might think I unwind by painting or working in my studio.  Though creating things is fun and somewhat relaxing, I just can't focus when tired.  In my dreams I relax by taking a long, hot bath.  But without a servant to clean the tub before I get in there, it rarely happens. 

These are some of the things that work for me.  So, how do you chill? 

Proteus

Chaetoboda (Annelida or worms) by Ernst Haeckel

 

This weekend I watched an interesting film about scientist/philosopher/artist Ernst Haeckel called “Proteus”.

Haeckel was born in 1834.  He discovered and documented over 4000 of the 5000 species of radiolarian, single celled organisms from the bottom of the sea.  Radiolaria have lived on this planet for over 500 million years! 

But there is more to Haeckel than scientific discovery.  He was also an artist.  In love with all of nature, he painted landscapes.  Early in his life he found himself torn between the world of art (playful, heartfelt, creative) and science (serious, cold, rational).  In the film he is quoted as saying that he feels like Faust, torn between two worlds.  He strives to bring together mind/heart, precision/passion, and spirit/matter.  In discovering radiolaria he fused these opposites by drawing and painting his discoveries and exalting in their beauty and mystery.  Through the radiolaria he realizes that all of nature is a single, unfolding work of art.

Cylon Jungle River by Ernst Haeckel

The film also weaves “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge into the narrative.  Using the poem’s inward journey of the mariner and outward voyage of the ship, we see an example of overlapping quests, much like Haeckel's. 

I think I was taken by this film because of my own search to marry the inner and outer.  At this time I’m striving to make my outward life reflect my artistic and spiritual inner life.  I also love this film because of the absolutely jaw dropping, gorgeous drawings and paintings of microscopic creatures by Haeckel.

Trachomedusae by Ernst Haeckel

Here are a couple of my favorite quotes from the movie:

You must, when contemplating Nature,

Attend to this in each and every feature:

There’s nought outside and nought within,

For she is inside out, and outside in.

Thus will you grasp, with no delay,

The holy secret, clear as day.

Goethe – from his late poem “Epirrhema”

“There is one spirit in all things, and no body is so small that it does not contain a part of the Divine substance whereby it is animated.” – Girodano Bruno

Side notes: 

*Proteus is an ancient Greek God of the sea. 

*Some selections from the film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl_onFMjJWA 

*This film is available on Netflix.

Array of Radiolaria by Ernst Haeckel

A Bad Spell

Flat nose pliers, bent nose pliers and jump rings.

 

I just experienced my first setback in selling my jewelry on-line.  It was completely mental and had me in a headlock so fast it took me several days to realize what had happened.  I ran out of materials for the line I’m working on.  All week I had been creating and designing.  I was so caught up in the work I didn’t realize I was almost out.  When I was forced to stop, I stagnated. 

You might ask, “Well why not just order more, silly Pam?”  But I was feeling guilty about spending money and worried about my tight finances.  I will just have to bite the bullet and do it.  My other excuse for not ordering was that the shipping (UPS Ground) takes about 2 weeks.  Yeah I know, the sooner I order the quicker it will arrive, but for some reason I find this discouraging. 

There is plenty I can do while waiting for my supplies in the mail: sketch more designs, read my right-brained business book, blog, explore creating my business plan and “look” for my Etsy store, set up a photo “stage”, and photograph what I’ve made so far.  Believe it or not, I might have enough materials stuffed away that I can still make a few more pieces. 

So why am I still stuck?  I think it has something to do with the sudden break in creative flow and fear.  With all my confidence I still fear failure, debt, and difficulty.  What if I don’t sell anything?  I just have to remind myself that this is an experiment.  As long as I don’t spend too much money, there is little risk, and I had fun in the process.  In my wildest dreams I am an independent artist, making my living off my art.  It is never going to happen if I don’t try. 

So, the discouragement spell is officially broken, I’m back to work.

Changing Seasons

Aspen Color!

For most of my life I struggled with the change in seasons.  I didn’t like having less daylight and colder weather.  It made me depressed, anxious, and very lethargic.  I fought it tooth and nail, which I don’t recommend, because resistance is futile.  

My Sit Spot

 

Then a few years ago a friend took me to an autumn ritual gathering.  The leader talked about the significance of autumn in our lives.  At this time of year the cold and darkness drives us inward, it is a time of reflection, planning, and gathering in preparation for winter.  We burned something we wanted to let go of (written on paper) and wrote down a wish for the spring and stuffed it inside a plastic egg.   I don’t know what it was about that night, perhaps just coming to understand the importance of autumn, but something changed in me.  I felt at peace with the change in seasons, in fact, I relished it!  Since then, I no longer feel depressed or lethargic when the days get shorter.  I get excited.  How wonderful it is to watch the leaves change color, to feel the chill in the air, and retreat to a warm snuggly blanket with a cup of hot tea!  A fall color trip can also help welcome in the new fall season.

Faerie Grove

This year I am thinking about using the dark, cold months to hatch my jewelry store on Etsy.  What better time to sit and create and start something new?  

Fall Color in Lee Vining Canyon

Park Pins and More

Recent Additions

A few years ago I started to collect park pins from the natural places I visited.  I think my first two were the Bristlecone Pines and Mono Lake.  Since then the collection has grown to include cities, museums, and other landmarks.

On my recent fall color trip to the Sierras I bought 3 more pins to add to the collection.  I like collecting pins because they are inexpensive and small.  Sadly, I keep the pins in a plastic baggie.  I need to find an aesthetically pleasing way of displaying them.  Some people wear them on their hiking hats, but I think my head would be a bit too heavy with all these!  

The Collection

Some of my favorites include: The Great Seal of the Navajo Nation, Fermilab, Chaco Culture National Historic Park and Haines Alaska.  

Detail

Getting Away

For months I’ve planned to get away from the city to see the fall colors in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.  It’s been a long time since I was out in nature, over night.  Nature is my #1 muse, and if I go too long without it, I start to feel depleted. 

 

Looking Down at the Kokanee Salmon

We started our journey at Taylor Creek in South Lake Tahoe.  The Kokanee Salmon were running.  The American Indians living along the Fraser River in Canada named the fish, which means “red fish”.  These salmon spend their entire lives in fresh water, unlike their costal cousins, who spend half their lives in the ocean.  They are about 14” long.  This is the time of year when the fish spawn.  Last year John got lucky and photographed a mother bear and her cub fishing there.  We didn’t see any bears on this visit, but the fish were truly fascinating.

Mono Lake, South Tufa in the Distance

Before settling in for a chilly night at our campsite, we visited Mono Lake for sunset.  

Golden Flowers and Aspen Trees

The next day we took a drive around the June Lake Loop and got our first serious dose of fall color.  

6 Sided "Posts"!

This was the last weekend The Devil’s Post Pile was open (for the season), so we went to check it out.  We’d had many opportunities to go in the past, but always during the time of year when Mammoth was crowded and one was forced to park and ride a shuttle to the rocks.  Because the crowds were gone, we were able to park near the site and hike in.  

The Top of the Post Pile

I couldn’t help but wonder, why “Devil”?  I never did figure that out.  There was nothing demonic about the place!  It was more “Angelic” than anything. 

A Glassy Mountain Lake in Yosemite

I Love the Shapes of These Rocks! (Yosemite)

Resting and Admiring the Scenery (Yosemite)

After a second night of camping in Lee Vining Valley, we headed up through Tioga Pass in Yosemite.  John took me to an unnamed lake just off the road where he took an amazing photograph a few years ago.  I too was inspired by this place and stopped to take a few photos.  

There's No Place Like Yosemite Valley

We traveled further on to Yosemite Valley for another handful of eye candy.  This spot by the river made me feel so peaceful!  

Got Dirt?

After eating our sandwiches with a view of El Capitan, it was time to head back to the city, with our photos and memories.  Check out John's account and photos of our trip: http://jwallphoto.blogspot.com/2011/10/fall-color.html

Box of Memories

My Grandmother's charm bracelets.

To those who have collected jewelry all their life, a journey through the jewelry box is a trip back in time. 

My collection is like a photo album.  When I hold necklaces that belonged to my grandmothers I see their faces shining back at me.  My favorite pendants from childhood remind me of a particular age, outfit, holiday or feeling.  Some pieces are from my first trip to San Francisco, gifts from friends and former students, visits to street festivals, and special vacations.  My jewelry box also contains a record of different phases in my life; the 80’s, my rhinestone period (before "Bling"), the Goddess years, world culture hippie, and “small and delicate”.  I have a few necklaces I made when I was little and many I’ve made as an adult. 

For me, the value of a piece of jewelry is not its materials or artistry, but the story it tells.  This explains why I have so much trouble clearing away the clutter.  As long as I have space, and can keep it organized, I don’t mind.  Every so often I get rid of things because their sentimental value has slipped away and I know I’ll never wear it again.  But I don’t throw them out.  Necklaces and earrings get disassembled and added to my workshop to be repurposed into new wearable art.

Synergy

 

Synergy is at play in my life.  According to my dictionary widget, synergy is “The interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.” 

I am more joyful, playful, energetic, and creative than I have been in a long time.  It must be the combination of having a job I love, a creative project with clear goals, connections with warm, creative, interesting people, all the wonderful art events taking place this month, and major planetary shifts (we are now living in the age of Aquarius). 

Author Tama J. Kieves recently quoted Brother David Steindl-Rast on her Facebook status; “The answer to exhaustion is not rest.  It’s wholeheartedness.”  This really resonates with me.  I am busier than ever and have more energy than ever because I’m excited about what I’m doing.  I am giving my life my whole heart, living it deeply and fully.  Momentum is increasing.  Who knew it could be so much fun? 

Making Progress

The list!

I’m at about the halfway point on my September/October goals.  I ordered some supplies for my new designs.  I’m still waiting on the mail; UPS misdirected my package to San Marcos, CA, between Los Angeles and San Diego.  Whoops!  So I’m not “making” anything yet.  I might have bitten off a little more than I can chew with blogging 3 times a week.  Soon I will start teaching two after school art classes, making me extra tired when I return home.  I also find that writing is a slow process for me.  If I blog in the evening I don’t have time to work on anything else.  Still, I’m going to stick with it for as long as I can. Twice a week might be a little more doable.  I have been carrying around my little notebook for a couple weeks and only wrote in it once.  Either I forget I have it, or I’m too busy to jot things down.  I think it will take some practice and discipline to make good use of my new “tool”.

Wigging Out

Don't mess with me.

This weekend I have been thinking and planning ahead with my jewelry project. Eventually I will need to photograph my necklaces for my Etsy shop.  It is important to have excellent photos of each necklace and very helpful for shoppers to see how each piece looks when it is worn.  I will probably ask a few friends to model for me.  But what if that doesn’t work out?  That is when I had the brilliant idea of being my own model!  I can do a series of self-portraits.  My timing couldn’t be better.  With Halloween around the corner it is very easy to find inexpensive wigs.  So today, I drove down to the Halloween store and did a little shopping.  Here are a couple photos shot with the Photo Booth app on my laptop.  Can you say “self-entertainment”?

This one reminds me of Kate Bush.

Resources

"Donated" necklace, store purchased seed beads and shell pendant, tree pendant made from silver clay, beach pebble pendant, and acorn pendant made from a shell and wild cucumber seed.

After looking at the picture in my last blog entry, you might be wondering how I came to possess so many beads.  Well, I’ll tell you!  They came from all over:

*The bead store!

*Bead catalogs and the Internet

*Leather, Native American, craft, Tibet, and second-hand stores

*Gem and bead shows

*Old broken necklaces

*Donations from friends who are cleaning out their jewelry boxes

*Garage sales

*Sidewalk finds

*The beach and woods (shells, rocks, seeds and sticks can be drilled to make beads)

*My own making (from clay, plastic scraps, etc)

I’ve been collecting for a long time, over 15 years.  Collecting beads feels somewhat addictive to me.  I’m a sucker for little, tiny, beautiful, and precious things (like sea glass).  String those treasures together, and you have a work of art!

Organization

Organization is key for beaders.  Over time I’ve collected thousands of beads. Most of my beads are organized by color and type.  I like to think of them as my palette.  I need to spread them out, or at least have quick access when working on a design.  The question is how do I store them so I can find what I need?  Some of my beads are in the storage cases pictured above.  The ones with the plastic wrap are seed beads.  The wrap is to protect them from spilling all over if the unit should fall.  I hope it works.  Living in earthquake country, I fear the inevitable.  The storage units are secured to the bookcases they are in, which in turn are secured to the wall.  Still, I cringe at the thought of picking up all those mixed up beads off the floor.  Knock on wood! 

"Commitment"

I splurged on a set of Angel Cards the other day.  I’ve wanted some for years.  I love how simple they are.  Tiny laminated cards, each with one word and a tiny angel drawing.  When I got home I took them out of the box, mixed them up (upside down) on the couch, closed my eyes, emptied my mind and picked one.  I got “Commitment”. 

Instantly this word brought many thoughts to mind.  First, I thought about my marriage commitment.  Could the card be sending me a message about that?  No, that vow is as solid as can be.  Certainly not commitment to my job, I’m a dedicated teacher through and through.  But what about the promises I’ve made to myself?  To be true to myself, live my dreams, and be kind and compassionate towards others.  Those are the personal commitments I think about every day. 

Then there is the commitment to my current project; setting up an Etsy store by the end of January.  That takes perseverance I didn’t have until now.  I have a plan of action, clear goals, and steps needed to get there.  I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.  How I will refuse to give up when I get to the difficult, boring, or not fun parts (if there are any).  This project is about much more than starting a hobby-type business; it’s proving I can finish what I start and that I’m devoted to my art.

So, if I feel my art and I are one in the same, then am I not committing to myself as well?